For the last three years I have really struggled with the balance between making a living and my creative output. Sometimes I would have so many art and/or music related tasks going on while working my day job that I nearly had a nervous breakdown. I kept trying to figure out how I could just create full time and make a living at it.
Well, I have finally come to terms with the fact that isn't going to happen anytime soon.
Not only is the current economy a major factor but there is the constant temptation to make my creative output more palatable in order to make more money. So far I haven't made any compromises for the sake of cash and I am going to continue on that path.
I feel that all forms of art (music, fine art, writing, whatever) need to be done from the heart and to please the artist alone. To do otherwise destroys the integrity of the creative work. So, from now on I will create what I want, in my own sweet time, while working a day job. At times, I am may not be as artistically productive as I have been in the past. Please just keep in mind that this is my way of maintaining a balance (and my sanity).
So, if you like any of what I do, just be patient. My art and music will continue and you can rest assured it will remain sincere. I plan on pushing myself even further to create work that is more pure and EXACTLY what I want to express.
If I'm not going to make a living at it... why should I do otherwise? Now if I only would have realized this a LONG time ago.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
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7 comments:
Maybe I’m acutely pessimistic or something but I thought everybody worked under this assumption.
Not that it is of particular interest to you and it might only help to demonstrate what a total fucking nerd I am, but I’m reminded of a quote by former President and General Ulysses S. Grant. The line comes from a letter that he wrote to his wife early in his army career about his desire to quit the army and rejoin his wife and children when he was stationed far away.
“…I am almost tempted to resign and trust to Providence, and my own exertions, for a living where I can have you and them with me. It would only require the certainty of a moderate competency to make me take this step. Whenever I get to thinking upon the subject however poverty, poverty, begins to stare me in the face and I think what would I do if you and our little ones should want for the necessities of life.” – Grant, in a letter to his wife Julia, 1854
Like the man said, poverty, poverty…it’s the great equalizer.
Nice quote Ed. I totally see where you are coming from.
For me it's I think my natural pessimism was monkeywrenched by having a lot of creative work out there over the last 20 years. I kept thinking that my list of accomplishments could pay off as a full time income with one or two good moves. Now I know I was wrong.
The big wake up call was reading an article about the danger of starting a business that relies on discretionary spending. This should have been obvious to me but, nope. That was the lightbulb.... music, art, graphic design, online retail (eBay), are all bad ideas because they aren't NECESSARY EXPENSES for anyone. It was like, "oh shit, that's EVERYTHING I know how to do." Ha ha. Fuck.
Scott / Gruntsplatter e-mailed me another bit of wisdom on the subject.
"Paul Lemos said something to me once that stayed with me. I asked him if he was in a position to live off the music. He said that he probably could, but that he continued working because he never wanted to be in a position where he HAD to create something because
the electric bill was due or some such thing. By having the day job he was free to create what he wanted how he wanted."
I never figured 1) that I would be as fortunate as I have been with my creative stuff 2) that I would make any money off it. However I have had the same thoughts you mention as far as body of work ultimately being some sort of catalyst to something better. Maybe all this music and design and what not will crack a door on the writing thing or some other combination of good fortune. It was a pretty short lived notion though. Frustrating to be sure, but liberating to. It allows you to continue to create from the same motivations that started you creating from in the first place.
So true Scott. I do feel a weird sense of relief myself.
I agree with Paul's comment, you don't want to have to create just because the electric bill is due. However, there is a line where art becomes craft and craft can be trade. Although that might lead to unpleasant compromises, as I'm sure your aware (RLP?).
The subject of an established body of work is a different matter. That has something to do with your expectations and what you think you should have achieved based on your accomplishments. I never assumed that I would be a big success so I guess it's OK that I'm not. I think you should keep doing what you do, adding to your body of work (whether it's paying or not) and keep the lights on any way you can.
Agreed. Thanks Ed.
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